In my last blog, I talked about conversations with my doctors that I’m not convinced were fair. Today, I want to talk about conversations I’ve had with my nearest and dearest. They are an incredibly supportive bunch, but a few things that have been said to me over the last year really demonstrate how entrenched our dismissal of female reproductive issues, particularly for those not trying to conceive, are in our day-to-day lives and the language we use.
“Sex isn’t meant to be good all the time, Hilary”
Why the hell not? A friend of mine is determined that the two of us ought to champion the cause of making good sex a human right. Anyone, anywhere in the world should have the opportunity to practice safe, legal and consensual sex and for it to be good, if you ask me. Besides if it’s not meant to be good, why do it? And don’t say reproduction, while it is obviously a factor there is clearly a whole lot more to sex that the desire to produce offspring alone.
“Have you tried not having sex?”
Not. The. Point. Sex is important, I know it’s not everything, but it is important.
“Shut up, everyone’s periods hurt”
If we can put humans on the moon, harvest energy from the sun and transplant organs, why the hell can’t we find a practical treatment for period pain? For most people who have periods the pain is either manageable or easily calmed with painkillers, but we can’t keep ignoring those whose pain is interrupting their daily lives.
“Have you tried anal?”
Ah, the question that I’ve been asked the most and that makes me laugh more than any of the others. While I’m sure it’s a viable option, for me, it’s not the point. Symptoms like those I’ve been experiencing are red flags that my fertility is a little compromised, and even though I have no desire to start popping out sprogs any time soon, I’d like know what’s coming and whether or not I can fully restore my uterine health. Plus, my trend of constipation after sex leads me to think that anal sex might not be any more comfortable for me than vaginal…
I have a few more of these, let me know if you want to hear them!